Just for Laughs

These Fake Products Never Hit Store Shelves and We Can Totally See Why

In the pages you are about to read, we’ll show you some of the wackiest, weirdest, concerning, and hilarious product parodies you’ll ever come across. Thanks to digital editing programs like Photoshop, just in time for Black Friday artists from around the world have taken products we all know and put a crazy twist on them.

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Image: Instagram / Adam the Creator

From disgusting flavors to worrying medication and more, we understand why these products would never have a chance at making to store shelves. But on the upside, they are good for something: they are guaranteed to make you laugh. There’s also a chance you might cringe.

2020 Be Like…

Ladies and gentlemen, friends and comrades, brothers and sisters, welcome to the year 2020. As soon as we take a glance at this toy set, we know what’s up. Fisher-Price provides everything your kid needs to feel like a grown-up during the pandemic.

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Image: Instagram / Adam the Creator

As it states on the box, the set comes complete with a video conference, wine bottles, and not least, the crying baby. Look at that baby. He or she looks absolutely miserable and the ‘grown up’ looks exasperated. We’re sure this mimics real life to a T. We know what we’re getting our kids for Christmas.

Oh, Millennials

Ok ok, for this one, it looks like we’re going to have to indulge in one of today’s tropes because we don’t know who else would down to eat these things other than millennials. Usually, when it comes to Pop-Tarts, it’s sweet flavors like chocolate or strawberry that are on the menu.

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Image: Instagram / Archer Archey

Here, though, we see that the Pop-Tarts have crossed the sweet-savory barrier and now include avocado. We don’t quite know what to think fo this one, but to be honest, trying them wouldn’t be out of the question. Avocado is yum, Pop-Tarts are great, so maybe these avocado Pop-Tarts would be good? Would you try them?

Olivegade

Mmmm olive-flavored Gatorade to quench your thirst… yum? We know that Gatorade is loaded with electrolytes and sugar and it tastes awesome. And we know olives are also tasty. But we’re not sure the latter has what it takes to replace the former.

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Image: Instagram / Worst Buy

It’s more than just juice, or brine, or whatever you want to call it. This “Olivegade” even comes with olives. So you can quench your thirst and have a little snack at the same time. This might be the perfect thing for you when you’ve been playing sports or working out. We hear they even have a Black Friday sale!

Smells Like the Beach

We still remember what the investor said when Kramer from Seinfeld pitched him the idea of beach cologne: “That’s the dumbest idea I’ve ever heard.” He continued, “You think people are going to pay $80 dollars to smell like dead fish and seaweed? That’s why people take showers when they go home…”

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Image: Instagram / Worst Buy

Harsh words, for sure. But Kramer never lost faith in his idea. And here we have it. All of Kramer’s entrepreneurship came to fruition and now we can finally hit up the beach smelling like that dead fish we all love. Never give up on your dreams folks. Thanks for bringing us a new and exciting product Kramer.

50 Shades of Grey

In terms of creativity and puns, this one is pure genius. We have a pack of 50 Crayola crayons, but they’re all a different shade of grey. Of course, it’s a parody of the acclaimed risqué romantic drama, Fifty Shades of Grey. It takes a second to get it, but once you do, it’s pretty funny.

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Image: Instagram / Worst Buy

Ok great, it’s funny, it’s clever. But in terms of use and practicality, we can’t say the same. It just doesn’t seem so convenient to buy a full pack of grey crayons that differ in their shades of grey only by a few pigments. We’re not sure we would get this as a present for anyone.

Morbid Gift

We would love to give this to someone as a gift and see their reaction. We’re sure it would be amazing. What we have here, apparently, is a little “dig your own grave playset.” We wouldn’t recommend giving this as a gift to someone who’s severely depressed. That just seems too twisted.

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Image: Death by Toys

Basically, as it says at the bottom of the package, this toyset comes with one shovel and zero reasons to live. The other snippets of text of the package drive the morbid (but kind of hilarious) point home. “Almost as good as the real thing!” reads one line. At least it seems this set isn’t meant for kids, as it says on the top corner: “Adult collectible. Not a toy.”

Yum or Yuck?

We get that it’s 2020 and new things on the horizon, including when it comes to new culinary experiences. But we still think we’re not ready to face miniature pizza rolls as cereal. We appreciate the innovation here, but we still think it’s too much.

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Image: Instagram / Worst Buy

Also, we’re just not sure how to eat these. Apparently, you can’t just pour them into a bowl and pour milk over them. According to the box, you need to “cook thoroughly.” So we’re supposed to cook them in the oven or microwave and then pour milk over them? We’re talking melted cheese and grease dripping into our milk. Hmmm… yeah we don’t know about this one.

A New Era of Action Figures

This one takes the most iconic and popular action figure of all time, G.I. Joe, and uses it as the basis of a clever spoof: meet G.I. Joke. Regardless of your politics, we’re sure you can see the humor in this one. You know the type. Surrounded by all good things – beer, freedom, barbecue – yet still angry.

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Image: Instagram / Wicked Joyful

So we get this funny little action figure and we also get the little bottle of beer that comes with it (freedom and bbq sold separately). We’re just not sure if the price is right. It looks like the price tag says $270. We think it’s safe to say that this isn’t the most worthwhile buy ever.

What All Men Desire

For decades we’ve been seeing commercials making jokes like this. What if there was a product that was a shampoo and also toothpaste, men have been asking. And now, my dudes (and dudettes: no reason why women wouldn’t also dig it), there is. And it’s even better than we thought. Thanks to new-age technology, now we have a 13 in 1 product.

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Image: Instagram / Worst Buy

Some of these require some imagination, although we guess we could see how body wash could also be deodorant or how shampoo could be toothpaste. But we struggle to picture some of the more exotic combos here. How could tin foil also be eye drops? How can tennis shoes be peanut butter? Regardless, we want this product. Where can we get it?

Where’d Daddy Go?

Here, we have a sadly all-too-common family situation taking on a new satirical spin. The costume seems pretty basic. It comes with a nondescript bodysuit, almost like a silhouette, that represents the nothingness left behind by absent fathers.

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Image: Instagram / Obvious Plant

Is it a thing that all absent fathers smoke cigarettes? Maybe: because the costume also apparently comes with a pack of Marlboros. What really gets us here is the text on the package. “Oh no! Where’d he go?” It’s a little sad, but it’s also funny and pretty clever. The only downside with this one is that you’d have some explaining to do if you wore this to a costume party.

New Markets

Since the outbreak of the pandemic, the nightlife industry has taken a huge hit because people are locked down and social distancing. But as it turns out, alcohol sales themselves have skyrocketed, prompting alcohol companies to find ways to expand their products. And what does everyone use these days? Hand sanitizer. So Mike’s Hard Lemonade jumped at the market opportunity.

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Image: Instagram / Worst Buy

The only problem here is that we’re really not sure exactly how to use this product. Is it just a hand sanitizer? Or is it somehow also a beverage? We see that it says 70-80% alcohol, so if it’s a drink it’s extremely potent. But it does in fact say “always refreshing.” And to be honest, it looks pretty appetizing.

Sad Ravioli

We don’t know if this is a product that any of us would be comfortable buying and eating any time soon. But for gront value, you can now get Depression Meal at your local grocery store. It’s like canned beef ravioli, just much, much sadder.

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Image: Instagram / Worst Buy

We’re not sure what exactly about canned ravioli is so sad, but the serving instructions give a clue: “Serve cold over the sink” the label reads. Now the picture starts to become clearer (and sadder). If you’re leaning over your sink, eating cold ravioli from a can, probably alone, there is indeed a good chance something is wrong.

Time to Kick Back

Netflix has taken over the world. The streaming giant is so deeply embedded in our culture these days that we even kind of use it, in conjunction with ‘chill,’ as a verb. “Hey, you wanna Netflix & chill?” And here we have it as a drinkable product – the ultimate medicine when you’re feeling stressed out.

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Image: Instagram / Worst Buy

The term “Netflix & chill” has in recent years taken on a meaning of its own. So now for some, it means a romantic night. And we see this captured in the label of this product: “Use for dates.” But more generally, romantic or otherwise, we use Netflix just to relax. And maybe with this new medicine on the market, we could just take a swig and get all the benefits.

Shaq’s New Sticks

Shaquille O’Neal’s main gig is obviously being a professional basketball player, but he has other ventures. He has invested in Google and Apple, nightclubs, restaurants, and not least, pregnancy tests. We guess you could say he has a diverse business portfolio.

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Image: Instagram / Obvious Plant

The advertising of Shaq’s pregnancy tests is really good. You have his face right on the package, giving a friendly (albeit kind of awkward) smile. Also, you get a couple of free stickers when you buy this product. Clearly, this is what we’ll be using next time we think we’re pregnant.

Take Our Money!

We’re not quite sure why this product hasn’t seen huge commercial success. Anyway, we want it. Take our cash already. According to the kids on the package, this product is awesome. Just look at how happy those youngsters are. This could be you if you also switched to pre-cracked eggs.

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Image: Instagram / Obvious Plant

The advantages of buying pre-cracked eggs (in convenient one-unit packages). No worrying about eggshells getting into your food. And as it says on the pack, saves time and no messy hand. Fimally, here’s a smart product we can behind. The boy with a strangely elongated neck saying he enjoys is all the proof that’s required: You need pre-cracked eggs in your life.

Reese’s New Flavors

Reese’s have always been innovators. They made treat history in the late 1970s when they combined chocolate and peanut butter. And now they’re at it again. But this time, they crossed the sweet-savory frontier with their new Italian cups. Instead of their classic ingredients, their new product is made from cheese and pasta.

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Image: Instagram / Adam the Creator

Ok, in essence there’s nothing really wrong with snacking on some cheese ravioli, but somehow, pulling it out of a wrapper and just popping it in your mouth like a peanut butter cup seems off. Dude, where’s my sauce? We hope Reeses had enough foresight to include a little alfredo pack in there or something.

Now Out on Blue-Ray

Have you seen the latest Ghostbusters spin-off? If you want to end up feeling completely lonely, then we highly recommend it. But in this one, instead of the ghosts doing the ghosting, it’s your friends. And by ghosting we don’t mean looking pale while floating around in the air.

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Image: Instagram / Worst Buy

Here, the word ‘ghosting’ is used in its 2020 context, which means ditching someone without returning their calls or texts whatsoever. Of course, having all your friends ghost you would actually be a really sad situation. If you’re looking to be lonesome this Black Friday, we think watching this film would for sure bring a tear to our eye.

Gotcha Butter Lover!

This one takes the advertising trick from margarine and flips it on its head. You thought it was butter? No, you’re wrong. It’s margarine! Can’t believe it. Wait… no! You were right the first time, it is actually butter! Wow, mind blown to smithereens (insert surprised emoji here).

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Image: Instagram / Worst Buy

The advertising here is subtle, no doubt. We all recognize the yellow and red with blue print color scheme of the “I can’t believe it’s not butter” slogan. So we get why someone would accidentally put this in their shopping cart. We can also imagine that unwitting, weight-watching shopper would be pretty ticked, especially if she or he didn’t realize it’s butter until after the baked goods were consumed.

Celebrity Endorsements

If you’re a fan of Kanye West products (beyond his music), such as Yeezy shoes or moisturizers, then we’re sure you can get on board with his new one: Kanye Zest body wash. It’ll leave you zestfully clean, don’t worry. If Kanye, one of the absolute freshest dudes out there, endorses it, then we’re sure it’s great.

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Image: Instagram / Worst Buy

Also, this photo, which is definitely not Photoshopped (wink wink) shows the body wash in action. As you can see, it gets soapy and lathery. And you can also see the results. Look how clean Kanye is here! Maybe if he would have been this zestfully clean on his presidential election campaign, he would have won.

Salty Black Friday Sale?

It’s a little disturbing to try and picture exactly how much crying people would have to do in order to provide enough tears to fill one of these bottles. Seriously, imagine all the crises, depression, nasty breakups that must go into these. We’re surprised each bottle only costs $1.29.

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Image: Instagram / Obvious Plant

But then again, the year is 2020, so there’s a lot to be upset about. With the pandemic raging and all the social unrest, we do have quite a few grievances. So maybe this has a big effect on the human tears market, and that’s why a full bottle of them costs so little.

Forklift Guy

To be completely honest, we actually have no clue what the heck is going on here. Is this some kind of movie reference? Anyone have any idea? If not, what we have here is apparently a toy figurine of a really attractive forklift driver. Completely self-explanatory, yet puzzling.

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Image: Death by Toys

Ok, if we’re commenting on an action figure’s physique, then yeah, he is a handsome fellow. And we’re sure he’s a hardworking man. We’re just not sure why that’s so important here. But hey, different strokes. Maybe we’ll pick one up on the next trip to Toys“R”Us.

X-Rated Breakfast

Obviously, the normal Corn Flakes serial is rated G, meaning it can be consumed by anyone. But for those looking for a little bit more bawdiness in their cereal, then switching to Porn Flakes might be the perfect choice. We’re not sure how exactly this cereal differs from the original Corn Flakes. But from the blur, we can imagine the difference is pretty explicit.

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Image: Instagram / Brands Gone Bad

Looks like we’ll have to leave this one to the imagination. Maybe instead of being randomly shaped flakes of cereal, the Porn Flake pieces are shaped like… yeah you know where this is going. Also, we love how the rooster (which we won’t refer to by its other name here for obvious reasons), is wearing the iconic Playboy bow.

The Dark Twin of Life Savers

Life isn’t always easy, true. But life also doesn’t always need saving. Sometimes, there’s nothing you can do about it. You just have to accept that things stink, and then sit there and stare glumly out the window. But now, there is the perfect treat for you during these melancholic times: Life Sucks hard candies.

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Image: Brands Gone Bad

At least if you feel like your life is in the dumps and all you want to do is sit around and sulk, you can now do so by sucking on some delicious fruity candy. And in a way, things could be worse. You could be sitting there moping without candy. Next time we’re in the grocery store or gas station, we’ll be sure to load up on Life Sucks.

Discount Ring

Meet the “She Said No” used ring. Of course, this one’s a joke, but it cleverly manages to strike a deep vein a truth and it makes us wonder what really does happen in these situations. The guy goes out, spends thousands on a ring, and then she says no. What now? Obviously, the ring won’t quite be worth as much.

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Image: Instagram / Obvious Plant

The guy can probably get some of his money back, but at the end of the day, the engagement ring (now “used”) will probably end up selling for substantially less than it did the first time. But on the bright side, if you’re a (hopefully) soon-to-be engaged man shopping for an affordable ring, you might be in luck.

New Breakfast Flavors

Cinnamon Toast Crunch is a cereal most of us can get behind. It’s crunchy, cinnamon-y, and sweet, what’s not to like? But if you like Cinnamon Toast Crunch so much, would you be willing to try their new flavor, Flamin’ Hot Crunch?

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Image: Instagram / Poptartaday

If you love spicy food, then this heavy-on-the-chili cereal might be just the right thing for you. All that spice is a good way to fire up your metabolism first thing in the morning. And if things get really spicy, at least you have a carton of milk sitting there to save you.

2020 Taco Night

In the post-pandemic world, a lot of things will be different. Hopefully, we won’t need to wear masks for years to come, but in case we do, Old El Paso just came out with the perfect product so that you can enjoy tacos this Black Friday without ever having to take your mask off

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Image: Instagram / Adam the Creator

Just place the straps around your ears like any other mask, get all the rest of the taco ingredients; ground meat, salsa, cheese, lettuce, tomato, guacamole, etc., and load up the space between your mask and mouth and munch away. Of course, the FDA says it’s not effective as PPE, so we wouldn’t recommend actually using it. But it is the tastiest mask out there.

Tech King Tries Cologne

When your last name is literally the word of an aromatic substance, then this kind of thing is bound to pop up. What we have here, is Elon Musk’s newest project. Digging holes under LA, getting people to space, connecting our brains with computers, these are all amazing things, but the world-class entrepreneur wanted to try something different this time around.

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Image: Instagram / Worst Buy

This time, he decided to break into the perfumery market. His new musk, called, Elon’s Musk, by Elon Musk, isn’t based on any super advanced technology. It takes us back to the roots, plain old synthetically-derived deer musk. And if you needed any more reassurance that this is products for you, just take a took at Elon’s happy face on the side of the bottle.

For Stressed Out Dads

Dads are awesome, no doubt. But being one certainly has its stressful moments. But now you don’t have to worry, just pop a couple of Dadvils. You and your wife have had a long day at work, you’re tired, you still have lots to do around the house, your kids are screaming and on a whole different energy level than you as they sprint through the house and scatter toys everywhere with abandon.

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Image: Instagram / Worst Buy

And to top it off, you have a roaring headache. Sometimes it can just be too much. Good thing Dadvil not only relieves pain but also contains other ingredients that will restore your sanity and make sure you have a laid-back evening, no matter how stressful you previously thought it would be.

Powerful Medley

This one is a mashup between Austin Powers and the Power Rangers. It gets some pun credit for the clever use of “power.” And to be honest, the crossover isn’t so far fetched. After all, like the Power Rangers, Austin Powers is often busy saving the world from evil.

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Image: Deviant Art / CitizensArrest

Though we’re sure that if there ever was a crossover movie, Austin Powers would a big help to the Power Ranger team, we’re not sure how much the would all get along though. The Power Rangers might find Austin Powers and his antics to be a little over-the-top. They seem kind of serious while Austin is kind of a party animal.

Lonely TV Dinner

We all remember those nights when we sat there, too lazy or too short on time to cook, so we just popped a Swanson’s Hungry-Man dinner into the microwave. Sometimes, they were good, but other times they were bad, real bad. And this parody perfectly embodies those bad times in the funniest way.

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Image: Instagram / Doctor Photograph

As we see from the description in the top left corner: unseasoned, watery, stale, slightly frozen. Unfortunately, sometimes this could happen. Moreover, the Lonely-Man also captures a social aspect. Sometimes, the only reason you heat up a TV dinner is that you have no one else to dine with, so what’s the point in cooking something.

Cheese Man

The worst pun in the world: this costume is a little cheesy (sorry). If you’re one of those awesome and creative people that’s always on the lookout for a refreshing Halloween costume, then this will be perfect for you. Forget about facepaint and forget about stuffy masks, all you really need are slices of cheese.

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Image: Instagram / Obvious Plant

And remember, by wearing this costume, you wouldn’t be giving up on any scariness. There’s something profoundly creepy and unsettling about showing up a costume party or trick or treating covered head to toe in sticky slices of cheese, 64 of them in fact.

Peanut Butter Bite

If you’re looking to reduce your sweet tooth indulgences then Reese’s has something that’ll be great for you. Forget about buying huge peanut butter cups or a full box of Pieces, now you can buy a single Reese’s Piece. Now you can enjoy a miniature treat without having too sugar!

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Image: Instagram / Worst Buy

Maybe for some, having one tiny piece of candy isn’t enough. No worries, you can just buy 10 of these single packs. Heck, you can even buy 20. Or if you’re not feeling so generous on Halloween, you can use these to give trick or treaters. One per kid.

Not the Most Effective

Obviously, no healthcare expert would recommend wearing one of these if you’re looking for protection against dangerous particles. As the makers of this product described on the package, you won’t have to worry about any breathing obstruction.

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Image: Instagram / Worst Buy

And needless to say, if you’re looking to protect your chin rather than your lungs, then the chin mask will probably work just fine. We’re sure you’re already used to seeing people walking around like this. That’s because chin mask sales are absolutely booming, with or without approval from the medical community.

Ben & Jerry’s Did It Again

We all know Ben & Jerry’s are really into finding insane ice cream flavors, some of them really are out there. And let’s face it, it might just be the best ice cream there is. But their newest flavor, Baja Blast Mountain Dew, is blazing a new trail for their already-diverse flavor repertoire.

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Image: Instagram / Fake Handshake

Ice cream and soda actually do have a long history together. Just think ice cream floats. So in fact, Mountain Dew and vanilla ice cream isn’t such an out-there combo. Also, remember that vanilla traditionally goes well with lemon. So we’re sure it’ll also mesh nicely with tropical lime.

The Wonders of Nature

If you happen to live in the big city, deep in the heart of a sprawling green-less concrete jungle, then maybe acorns aren’t something that are always so easy to come by. Luckily for you, dear urbanite, you can now get acorns at your local toy store. They come pre-packaged and ready for you to have fun.

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Image: Instagram / Obvious Plant

And in case you’re unfamiliar with the myriad joys of having an acorn, just look at the enthusiastic text on the package, “One day it will be a gigantic tree!” reads one very Platonic snippet. And not to mention, the three guys and their facial expressions alone are enough to make us buy this product.

Meaty Snack

Too bad this isn’t a real product because it’s totally something we’d be up for trying. It looks like Slim Jim teamed up with Fruit by the Foot to create something truly amazing: Meat by the Foot. Looks like the perfect snack for someone who wants a quick hit of sodium-loaded protein on the go.

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Image: Instagram / Worst Buy

No need to buy Beef Jerky anymore when you’re looking for salty, chewy dried meat. Simply switch to Meat by the Foot. If eating what’s basically a meat roll-up seems weird, you should just give it a try before you knock it. And if you happen to be vegan or vegetarian, then you can just stick with the original Fruit by the Foot.

Latest in Quiet-Tech

When you ask your kids over and over again to be quiet when you’re on a Zoom call and they don’t listen and they just get louder and louder, there’s now an easy solution. Introducing the newest in disciplinary technology: Hush Tape. Available at your local hardware store and Walmart.

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Image: Instagram / Sean Speezy

Let the kids play, let them run around and bounce off the walls, no problem. But now they can be their energetic little selves without the unnecessary volume. If you feel your house is too noisy, as it says on the package, it only takes one roll to change things. But you better make sure your Hush Tape roll is stashed away and your children aren’t taped up if child services ever happen to pay you a visit.

No One Is Coming

It’s a sad situation when you have to buy stuff for your party that no one but you will come to. It’s not a fun situation. But when there’s a demand, there’s a supply. So now you can go to the party store and get yourself a single noisemaker. Hurray!

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Image: Instagram / Obvious Plant

If you happen to be in the unfortunate situation of being the only guest at your party, then at least you don’t have to waste too much. Usually, noisemakers come in packs of 10 or more. But at your party, it’s just you! So what’s the point in spending all the money on extra plastic? Get the Birthday For One noisemaker and you’re good to go.

Lockdown Barbie

Toy companies know that if they want to stay in business, they have to stay with the times. That’s why the makers of Barbie dolls were quick to catch up with 2020 and release their newest doll: Non-Essential Worker Barbie. During the pandemic, a lot of non-essential workers were unfortunately laid off. Some spend the day drinking wine.

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Image: Instagram / Adam the Creator

And this Barbie doll manages to perfectly catch the lockdown vibe. If you stay at home all day (even if you are working), there’s no way you’re getting fully dressed every day. You probably walk around with sweat pants and crazy hair most of the time and make yourself presentable from the waist up on the days you have a Zoom call. But otherwise, underwear and wine it is.

How to Stay Fresh

Orange juice lovers are all about staying fresh. They love having a big glass in the morning. And when you say you’re going somewhere with freshly squeezed OJ, they get, rightfully so, super excited. So it’s no surprise that they would want to raise their freshness levels even further by incorporating some toothpaste.

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Image: Instagram / Worst Buy

Behold Florida’s Natural’s newest product: Extra pulp with toothpaste. Thanks to the juice giant’s collaboration with Colgate, now everyone can get all the morning freshness they could ever need in one juicy, minty beverage. Be sure to pick up a bottle next time you’re shopping.

Welcome to King’s Landing

All you Game of Thrones fans out there will get this instantly. What we have here is a King’s Landing Lego set. Without any explicit spoilers, let’s just say what we see on the package is King’s Landing in the last season of the show, when the city is, well, not in the best shape ever.

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Image: Instagram / Worst Buy

Usually Lego sets are for kids, but as we can see, this one certainly is not. It even says 18+ on the package. Why is that? For one, it’s got over a billion pieces so it might be a little challenging for a kid. And second, we’re sure that within the pieces that are the rubble of King’s Landing, there some not-so PG-13 things to be found.

Get Me Your Manager

Here we have another relic from the year 2020, the notorious Karen. Now she’s available in action figure form. In case you aren’t up to date yet with the overbearing, rude, obnoxious, privileged, and demanding suburban woman stereotype, all of these traits are embodied under the name “Karen” as a pejorative. Sorry to all those sweet and nice Karens out there.

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Image: Death by Toys

Besides being generally awful, Karens are also well known for having spiky hair, often driving SUVs or minivans, and not least, calling the manager when things aren’t going their way. Hurry up and get down to your local toy store and get your Karen action toy before it’s too late. And if they’re sold out, just scream at the cashier.

Ba Da Ba Ba Ba, You Smell Great

McDonald’s is always coming out with new products. One week they have a new Ranch Crispy Chicken burger, the next week they have a new Mexicano spice burger. And now, they have also started to make cologne. If you find McD’s fast food tasty, would you be down to try this new product?

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Image: Instagram / Worst Buy

The bottle looks nice, and McDonald’s is a well known name across the world, but we’re still a little skeptical. We like to eat McDonald’s, we just don’t know if we’d want to wear it. Also, the label doesn’t really help. Under the arches of the M, it says “eau de boeuf,” which is literally French for “beef water.”

Rogen’s Laugh Track

Ok, Seth Rogen definitely has an endearing, noteworthy laugh. And the famous comedian/actor that made us laugh so hard in Pineapple Express and Knocked Up just dropped a new album. Tired of pausing and rewinding little segments of him laughing during his various appearances? No problem. His new album features 10 straight hours of him laughing.

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Image: Instagram / Doctor Photograph

When asked about the recording process in an interview, Rogen cited substantial amounts of laughing gas, cannabis, and funny movies. The rest just fell into place. If nothing else, this is a brand new idea for an album. Maybe we’ll pick it up and give it a listen.

DYI Fangs

This one is extremely worrying. We totally understand why this home teeth-sharpening kit never made it to the store shelves. The last thing we would want is a bunch of people running around with vampire-like teeth. Also, as the packaging warns in the top left corner: Your mother will hate it.

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Image: Instagram / Obvious Plant

Though the benefits of this kit do seem appealing, we’re not sure it’s worth permanently altering your precious teeth. And we really don’t think it’s safe. The guy on the package smiling and revealing his fangs doesn’t help sell this product either. He just adds to the creepiness.

Starch Liquid When You Need It

Strangely, though Simply’s pasta water does seem a little bizarre at first, we do see the utility in it for some. If you’re lacking experience in the kitchen but you want to cook, let’s say, Pasta Carbonara, you might have trouble transferring boiling pasta water to a the pan where your pancetta mixture is cooking up.

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Image: Instagram / Worst Buy

Then it might be convenient to just have some on hand in a bottle without the trouble and the risk of burned hands. It’s all natural – basically just a mixture of boiled water and starch from your pasta. We actually think this one would have a shot in the market.

Breakfast Candy

Starburst has done it, the company just released its breakfast flavor. Finally, a candy product that has taken the brave, bold step and a crossed the sweet-savory barrier. Some say – and we might agree with them – that this barrier is the final frontier when it comes to the snacking experience.

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Image: Instagram / Worst Buy

We love bacon and eggs and hash browns. In fact, breakfast for many is their favorite meal of the day. So why not experience a little bit of that breakfast taste through one of our favorite chewy candies? Really, there’s no reason. The future is here. What’s next, smoked salmon and cream cheese lollypops?